No one knows what it's like
to be the bad man
To be the sad man
behind blue eyes
These were the lyrics of Cover Song, "Behind blue eyes" by limp bizkit i was listening to today morning in metro, when i saw a small plumpy kid running entering the metro with huge tattered Lojas Americana polythene moments before doors getting closed. The moment doors of metro closed, he took out his merchandise in anticipation of selling it. Not many people were interested in buying the stuff, and their looks gave it away that most likely the stuff was stolen. I saw the kid going to other end of metro and simply taking one of the empty seat and getting lost in own world within few seconds. Even i had made up my mind that stuff was pretty much stolen and most likely find its way to people selling stolen goods outside my office and was kind of suddenly repulsive of the kid. Why, why why did this kid had to do all this.. And again i heard some lyrics
To be the sad man
behind blue eyes
These were the lyrics of Cover Song, "Behind blue eyes" by limp bizkit i was listening to today morning in metro, when i saw a small plumpy kid running entering the metro with huge tattered Lojas Americana polythene moments before doors getting closed. The moment doors of metro closed, he took out his merchandise in anticipation of selling it. Not many people were interested in buying the stuff, and their looks gave it away that most likely the stuff was stolen. I saw the kid going to other end of metro and simply taking one of the empty seat and getting lost in own world within few seconds. Even i had made up my mind that stuff was pretty much stolen and most likely find its way to people selling stolen goods outside my office and was kind of suddenly repulsive of the kid. Why, why why did this kid had to do all this.. And again i heard some lyrics
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
After listening to these lyrics, the very thought of me getting repulsive of small kid made me repulsive of myself. What do i know of his past or his conditions to judge him.
Long back i had played a game called Caesar III. And the Society was made of two classes. Plebeians and patricians. The idea was Plebs work while patricians did not. Plebs were poor and patricians were rich. Not too long into game and i realized one important aspect, Too many plebs meant city was on fast track growth and with growth plebs prospered. they received facilities whcih they hadn't dreamt of earlier. Slowly many plebs converted to patricians faster as result of growth. But higher Patricians also meant there were only few plebs left who actually worked. Lesser work meant city went into degradation mode. And i realised a simple fact of the game system, that i had to maintain balance between plebs and patricians for me to succeed as a governor. This was the first time i had started drawing parallels between the game and our real world today.
Before i played the game I used to blame government that it didn't do much for us middle class or lower class and how rich people used to get everything. I interpreted (maybe wrong?) all government cared was to have working country. Their aim was not to make sure that everyone gets all facilities, but to make sure they had a working country. They had to maintain a balance between all stratas, other wise there wouldn´t be anyone left to do a job which is usually down by lower strata and country will come to hault. And the governemnt will not be the one which will help you get to higher class with more facilities and lesser of that work which one hated to do. It was in our individual hands.
With this interpretation came another realisation, inequality of this kind meant, i had to come in terms with fact there would be all kind of people in this world i would come across. Some doing anything for survival and some doing anything to get to that higher class with more riches. Some legally, some illegally. And i had no right to judge them, after all it was darwin's theory at play. I could complain of things not being fair, but i had no right to judge. But i did judge a "kid" today without knowing anything. And the whole episode leaves me with just couple of questions
Am i conscienceless for even being after educated i decided not to judge someone else´s right and wrong?
Or
Am i conscienceless to have judged someone after having decided not to.
But one thing is clear and can be summarised by another couple of lines from the same song which has been going around in my head since morning..
Long back i had played a game called Caesar III. And the Society was made of two classes. Plebeians and patricians. The idea was Plebs work while patricians did not. Plebs were poor and patricians were rich. Not too long into game and i realized one important aspect, Too many plebs meant city was on fast track growth and with growth plebs prospered. they received facilities whcih they hadn't dreamt of earlier. Slowly many plebs converted to patricians faster as result of growth. But higher Patricians also meant there were only few plebs left who actually worked. Lesser work meant city went into degradation mode. And i realised a simple fact of the game system, that i had to maintain balance between plebs and patricians for me to succeed as a governor. This was the first time i had started drawing parallels between the game and our real world today.
Before i played the game I used to blame government that it didn't do much for us middle class or lower class and how rich people used to get everything. I interpreted (maybe wrong?) all government cared was to have working country. Their aim was not to make sure that everyone gets all facilities, but to make sure they had a working country. They had to maintain a balance between all stratas, other wise there wouldn´t be anyone left to do a job which is usually down by lower strata and country will come to hault. And the governemnt will not be the one which will help you get to higher class with more facilities and lesser of that work which one hated to do. It was in our individual hands.
With this interpretation came another realisation, inequality of this kind meant, i had to come in terms with fact there would be all kind of people in this world i would come across. Some doing anything for survival and some doing anything to get to that higher class with more riches. Some legally, some illegally. And i had no right to judge them, after all it was darwin's theory at play. I could complain of things not being fair, but i had no right to judge. But i did judge a "kid" today without knowing anything. And the whole episode leaves me with just couple of questions
Am i conscienceless for even being after educated i decided not to judge someone else´s right and wrong?
Or
Am i conscienceless to have judged someone after having decided not to.
But one thing is clear and can be summarised by another couple of lines from the same song which has been going around in my head since morning..
My dreams, they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
As my conscience seems to be
7 comments:
What an interesting post Vim! I walk past the street kids and homeless people every day in Glória and I often think about this stuff.
I'd love to help these people, but in the context of my life and their life, it isn't so easy. They look hungry so you give them money - will they buy food or drugs? I think about giving them food sometimes. My wife thinks you shouldn't give them food because there is no incentive to work if people can be comfortable just living on the street.
I think you can feel bad at the *situation* which forces a child to sell stolen items. Like you say, the boy probably had very little chance in life. I want to help the kid without helping to perpetuate the system that brings him to these conditions in the first place. It is not an easy situation! :(
It surely is not easy. As i work in Gloria, even i have gone through the same phase initially. Its heart wrenching at times!
Lovely post Vim. Life presents difficult situations to judge or sort out, and if you add to that the sadness certain realities bring it can all become emotionally overwhelming very quickly.
The funny thing is that I also find shelter in art and music, usually they induce a state of thoughful serenity to a situation which would otherwise lead me to feel chaotic, angry and then depressed.
hey gritty.. like you said "The funny thing is that I also find shelter in art and music, usually they induce a state of thoughful serenity to a situation which would otherwise lead me to feel chaotic, angry and then depressed." don't you actualy feel, that music actually makes mattrs worse at times??
BTW i plan to post for you guys one recipe tomorrow which you and tom should definitely try out for its flavour but sadly won't have any photos till i make it next time! its made of peanuts!
Awesome Vim, looking forward to a recipe!
Vim,
I can see how music could make things worse. I try to find a song that decreases what leads me to feel anguish. So first I tried to figure out what in the end made me feel this anguish and concluded it was the sense of chaos I got/get when observing such situations (like seeing kids living out in the streets), and that then would trigger a sense of hopelessness since in my mind a situation lacking order is one where solutions won't be found.
So I searched for art that would, to any extent, tame this sensation of disorder and found that Sarah Vaughan's "Send in the Clowns" does it quite well. It is not a happy song, and perhaps given what causes such grief it ought not be, but it certainly helps to calm my senses and that allows me to consider the situation without the emotional overload which their images inflict.
Here is a youtube of the version of this song that I like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZql7ThhaHY
I find it better though just to listen to the recording, alone, in my own private corner of the house.
I gave you the wrong link Vim (it is the Judy Collins one, good, but not what I referred to in the message).
Here is the one, with Sarah Vaughan, that I meant to send.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgr9Y6LsnVs&feature=related
Post a Comment